3:40am

I’m getting new carpet installed tomorrow, so I was hoping to get to bed and wake up kind of early… well it took until about midnight to force myself to stop reading and try to go to sleep. I don’t know why I’m having so much trouble sleeping this week. I don’t *feel* extra distressed….

New PTSD Achievements Unlocked

One: I’m semi-able to communicate this evening, in spite of the fact that I had a sort of trauma therapy this afternoon, which usually knocks me out of my mind for the rest of the day. I even managed to write/post a poem (and this). It might need some editing/rearranging, but it looks pretty good…

I Am What I Eat

Olive oilPepperoncini Pizza stoneBrick fire ovenMozzarella, ParmesanRustic kneaded dough Bell peppersRoasted garlic headsHot sausageAlfredoSister tries my recipeMine is better, though Tasting roomBottled by NapaBalsamicTiny cupsNew boyfriend asks for French breadMy mom thinks he’s weak “Take this shot”She taught me by tenHow to tasteVinaigrette“Baguette’s for babies,” she claimedNot big girls like me Dessert timeTiramisu buzzCannoliGelatoWarm glass…

Indulgence

My therapist said that trying to avoid feeling a crush will only make it worse. So, in the name of curing my crush, I’m going to indulge in venting out all of the details. I think it all started about a year ago, when I started talking to a neighbor who also has PTSD. I…

A Little Lust

I feel his eyes burnLike fire on my derriere When I face awayConspicuous desireTo divinely merge our flesh This ekphrastic tanka was written in response to the above image for Poetics: The Landscape Sleeps Ekphrastic Prompt by dVerse

Yoga and Youth

These young college girlsLook like my best friend and meEighteen years agoThe blonde is absent todayBrunette’s nervous without her Brunette sits by meTimidly, like she’s afraidI look up to smileShe’s just a few years olderThan my own teenage daughter For the past ten weeksI’ve had to remind myselfThese girls aren’t a threatIt’s not their fault…

Family Feud

I texted my mom, “Ask your therapist if gossiping about your kids with your other kids is abusive.” I haven’t met many parents who love gossiping about their kids as much as my mom does. (I’m referring to mean, negative gossip, specifically.) My little sister has broken down in tears dozens of times saying, “When…

Distract

I want to write about anything other than today… the SI was so strong today I could barely even see through it. I was able to meet my new therapist this morning, but my new doctor called in sick, so I wasn’t able to ask her to raise my antidepressants, yet. So, anyway… I need…

Dizzy

It seems that my ex who I had a restraining order against for five years has been working across the street from the college where I’ve been taking a yoga class for the past couple of months. (Last time I had checked, he had been living out of town.) I found out because he got…

Corona Shadorma Dreams

Pin-up girlPoster hangs overGuest queen bedWhere we’ll crashAfter Thanksgiving dinnerIn case we get smashed HolidaySpread on the tableCrisp turkeyCranberriesStuffing, mashed potatoes, rollsGreen bean casserole We sleep wellContent and full, butIn my dreamsThere’s no foodThe turkey never cooks throughWe’re all left hungry Breakfast timeHeat up leftoversHouer d’oeuvres, cheeseGreedilyGrab a plate full of hodgepodge Plus coffee, of…