Depressive Episode

I’m taking a mini break from writing for a few days or so. (This post doesn’t count.) I want to catch up on reading posts before writing anything substantial of my own. This might take me a few more days. If you notice me going through a bunch of your posts at once, this is…

Straight Talk on Suicide

I just came across the post Suicidality and Other People‚Äôs Perspective by Ashley Peterson, and have so much to say, I thought I’d better just write my own post. As someone who has been formally diagnosed with CPTSD (and a bunch of other acronyms), chronic suicidality has been a reality for me for more than…

PTSD and Resilience

“At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.” -Frida Kahlo Frida is my favorite artist, hands-down. It seems like most people who I mention her to have never even heard of her. At best, they may have her of her husband, Diego Rivera. When Frida realized Diego…

Give and Take (blog post)

One thing that’s hard about blogging, and about life in general, is the fact that I always feel like I need to pretend to be feeling better than I am. I’ve learned the hard way not to share my real feelings candidly. People run away, which I guess makes sense, cause I have PTSD. My…

Obsession

AlonePracticed yogaSwallowed my happy pillsTried acupuncture, therapyAte right DepressedP. T. S. D.There’s no one here with meEveryone says that they love meDo they? AfraidTo go outsideFeels like I’m gonna dieAt least I am safe on my ownIndoors FranticState of panicI don’t feel like myselfMind travels back through timeTriggered FlashbacksThat wasn’t meI said things I don’t…

Quiet

Do you wanna know why IDon’t talk about it? When I tell people the reasonI have PTSDThey stare with gaping eyes likeI’m a Hollywood movie scene It feels like they care moreAbout the storyThan they careAbout me Do you Wanna know the deets?Is my story juicy?Gossip worthy?Which parts are my fault?And how much did I…

I Am Kintsugi

I am Victoria Falls Nothing stops my flow No man can ever keep me From getting where I need to go I was raised in the Mojave Desert In low-income housing Got my first full-time job At Mcdonald’s, age 15 Fell in love with the line cook Working with me He didn’t speak English, but…

Saturday blog post

An unusually straight-forward title for me. I need a break from all the poetry, and a vent. This morning, I got up early to take the train to a yoga class downtown. Because the class is held in an outdoor area, in the middle of a large shopping center surrounded by restaurants and hotels, there…

Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road

It’s 2013And we’re going to VegasFor our anniversaryHe says it will beThe trip of our dreamsAnd even hints atAn engagement ring I tell him I can’t wait to seeThe Yellow Brick Road again.It was my favorite attractionAt the MGM GrandWhen I was a little girl. He asks me what I’m talking aboutHe doesn’t remember an…

Monroe

“You’re so fucking hot;I’ll lick all of your tattoos.” He says, babe, I’ve got them everywhere, From my neck to my ass crack– Are you gonna lick that, too? I stare at my phone, and blush. Well, are you? It is 2022. Everyone’s doing it. I crack up, and tell him I didn’t expect him…