Depressive Episode

I’m taking a mini break from writing for a few days or so. (This post doesn’t count.) I want to catch up on reading posts before writing anything substantial of my own. This might take me a few more days. If you notice me going through a bunch of your posts at once, this is…

Evan

This guy Evan just came up in my Bumble feed. I’m not sure exactly how it works, but so far, every single person that I’ve swiped right on has been a match, meaning they’ve already swiped right on me. So… Evan swiped right on me? Does Evan not remember me? I think I was 23…….

Obsession

AlonePracticed yogaSwallowed my happy pillsTried acupuncture, therapyAte right DepressedP. T. S. D.There’s no one here with meEveryone says that they love meDo they? AfraidTo go outsideFeels like I’m gonna dieAt least I am safe on my ownIndoors FranticState of panicI don’t feel like myselfMind travels back through timeTriggered FlashbacksThat wasn’t meI said things I don’t…

Therapy

ListenI’m sorry butI am not innocentI’m sick of hearing nothing isMy fault I meanI’m not perfectI know that I did thisSo just let me admit to itFor once She says,That is matureWe all mess up sometimesLet’s talk about how to improveNext time Calls itPTSDThat means nothing to meThis time, I hurt someone I loveHelp me…

Quiet

Do you wanna know why IDon’t talk about it? When I tell people the reasonI have PTSDThey stare with gaping eyes likeI’m a Hollywood movie scene It feels like they care moreAbout the storyThan they careAbout me Do you Wanna know the deets?Is my story juicy?Gossip worthy?Which parts are my fault?And how much did I…

I Am Kintsugi

I am Victoria Falls Nothing stops my flow No man can ever keep me From getting where I need to go I was raised in the Mojave Desert In low-income housing Got my first full-time job At Mcdonald’s, age 15 Fell in love with the line cook Working with me He didn’t speak English, but…

Try

“If you’re not a veteran, then how did you get PTSD?”“Are you sure you want to know? It might change your opinion of me.”“Nothing could change my–““No, seriously.”“Let’s sit.” He leads me to the sofa, then pulls me down into his lap. He wraps his arms around me, while I do my best to explain…

Another Quadrille

InsomniDate Night terror wakes me up hypedGuess I’ll get out of bed and write3am, type type typeWill I ever sleep tonight? Dating app, swipe swipe swipeMaybe I’ll find Mister Right?Cute guy wants to meet on SkypeThis upcoming Wednesday night Written for Quadrille #157: What’s Your Type? by dVerse (take 2): write a poem in exactly…

Software

Some people worry that my diagnosis denotes violence, When it actually just means that I’m a time-traveler. Here for now, but any sound, sight, touch Might knock me right out of my mind Straight into another time. I tell people that it’s kind of like being a computer. Imagine, I am your computer, and you’ve…

Dissonance

Between his screaming, and the baby’s,How am I supposed to hear my own thoughts?He is pacing back and forth in front of us, bleeding rage.I wrap the baby in my arms, ready to shield her with my bodyIn case he throws anything else our way. Between the computer screen, and the sofa, and the mess,My…