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When my friend lost her children, she told me, “Most of the time, I feel nothing, but then sometimes, I’m just overwhelmed by the deepest sadness.” I feel the same way (but with presumably less pain) about going homeless. Most of the time, I don’t feel it. But when I feel it? I could not…

March

Healing smells like eucalyptus leaves Fallen over the trail like a Flowering pink canopy And it feels like the ocean breeze Slamming full force into me At the top of Mount Tamalpais Healing feels like the pull in my thighs After my twenty mile hike Along the East Bay Skyline Shredded Eucalyptus bark adorns The…

Are you there, God?

This relationship with God called “Life” has been abusive and quite frankly I want to leave it just like I’ve left All my other abusive relationships This morning the shelter case worker Said he needs to see me tomorrow And I cried my eyes out, overwhelmed With flashbacks of getting kicked out Fired, dumped, kicked…

Grief

The grief is so much heavier Than I expected So much to let go of And to mostly Never see again I tell myself so many stories To cope, I tell myself, I love being back in the hood I feel more like myself here I let my hair down I love reading street signs…

Trusted Tenant Sylvia

Why didn’t the guards wand Sylvia When she came back tonight? Was it because she was clutching A set of black Teddy bears? (She had purchased the bears, A mother bear hugging a baby bear, In Yosemite, for her daughter When Sylvia was still a waitress At that private country club) Or was it the…

Sylvia Student Nurse

If there were a nurse Or even a nursing student Living at the women’s shelter She might know how to Anonymously report How dirty everything is How they stopped putting out Lysol wipes and turned off the Numerous HEPA filters just as Everyone started coughing Almost as if the shelter staff Wants the homeless women…

Homeless and Scammed

Maybe I’ll take a day off from reporting crime to write about my life. “What is the primary cause that led to you being homeless right now?” asks the intake worker. “I…um, I…” I hate it when people take a long time to answer a question. My throat clogs. “I was…well… my… my neighbors were…