Sixteen years old
Night shift time punch
At McDonald’s
By midnight moon
Hot cook flashed his
Captivating
Smile in break room
Said he loved me
Would stay with me
For all my days….
Sixteen years old
Written for Twiglet #291: All My Days: “A twiglet’s aim is to “prompt” a thought. If something comes to mind, write. A polished piece isn’t the goal; creativity is.”
&
Moonwashed Weekly Challenge: Captivating
&
Tanka Tuesday #284: Specificform: 4-11: a stanza of eleven lines with four syllables per line.
&
Poetics at the Restaurant by dVerse
Photo credits: Unsplash
Cognac Project 
Happily ever after 🥰
LikeLiked by 2 people
Kind of heartbreaking. I loved how you wove a love story into the restaurant prompt.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Nitin! Although it is slightly less of a love story now that I revised it– I forgot that the first and last line were supposed to be the same 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
I read it again. I kind of like the new version too. Sort of ambiguous. You don’t know if he just said that and went away. Or if he was an sleazy older dude. Or if it’s a happy ending.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha, thank you. It’s a mystery! We’ll never know 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
love by moonlight or was it. great poem
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you!!
LikeLike
The story of so many lives. I’m hoping she didn’t fall for it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
This one was nearly entirely based on a true story, but don’t worry, he was only a year and a half older than her, they dated for four years, and are still friends 😉
LikeLike
It was serious then 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
True love or a ruse? I love the ambiguity! Incredibly well done! 💕🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Harmony!! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nicely done. I reckon at 16-years old we’re still allowed to believe in our dreams.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! Very much so. And even at my age I still try to believe in my dreams 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Night-shifters. Go figure.
Cool 4-11 & I like how you added an extra syllable to Line 5 (dead center / turn) to give it some smiley ooomph!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Ron! And thank you for pointing that out. I haven’t been able to get any syllable counters to work on my computer so far, but I fixed the poem 😀
LikeLike
Love how you wove your story in a poetic form. Sweet sixteen can be bittersweet! Thank you so much for joining in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Eugenia ❤ ❤ ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure! 💛
LikeLike
A story in a few words. Nicely done. Those dreamy days of being sixteen. I hope it stayed a dream and just flirting. 😏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like so many others, I worked at both burger king and McDonald’s in younger days, and if you’re lucky you really can run into someone wonderful.
–Shay/Fireblossom
LikeLike
Erm this poem could bring out the cynic in a person….glad you are still friends
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw, the teen years when everything is amplified! Great poem, Sylvia! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Yvette ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this 💜 💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! ❤
LikeLike
Real love or not, this is a sweet poem. Bravo! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, to be 16 again! You took us all there. I will have to read this to my granddaughter Hazel (10 months old) to let her know what is ahead.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! Aw, I’m sure she would love that. My daughter used to love being read to at that age, too, although she would try to turn the pages at the wrong time 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Captured a sixteen year old love!
LikeLiked by 2 people
thank you ❤
LikeLike
Bravo! What a great story poem! Love it!! 💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Colleen! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
A whole story in 11 lines! Great. Although does it have a happy-ever-after ending? Who knows?
LikeLiked by 1 person
well? did he, Sylvia? 😀
heehee!
❤
David
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a leg over line.
LikeLiked by 1 person