Shame vs Acceptance

How do you practice self-care?

I think about this a lot, and I think it just happens to fit in perfectly with the daily prompt.

When I became pregnant with my daughter, I was 21. I was 22 when she was born.

The first few months were confusion. I had thought that if I got pregnant at this age, I would have an abortion.

But I didn’t. This might sound crazy to anyone who knows that I had an abortion years later, but the circumstances were completely different.

I just could not shake the feeling that this child was meant to be born. That this was a good human who was meant to be created.

As soon as I decided to keep my baby, I started to try to get excited about having a baby. These were not the circumstances I wanted, but I had always thought I wanted a lot of kids.

But people would say

You should be ashamed of yourself

You’re too young to be a mother

You’re being selfish. You need to think about how this decision affects other people.

Have you thought about giving it up for adoption?

Don’t you think your life might have turned out better if your mother gave you up for adoption?

Talk about raining on my fucking parade.

It really felt like every time I tried to be happy, someone would say how dare you.

But that was my only child. That was my only pregnancy that I carried to term. That was my one chance to be happy about having a baby.

How many times in my life have people told me I should be ashamed of anything that brought me pleasure? Like

You’re poor. You should be saving your money.

Most poor people are poor their whole lives. If they were to buy into that bs their whole lives, they would never be happy.

At some point in life, when you’ve been miserable long enough it feels like, either I have to find some happiness, or I have to die.

So, in the name of not dying, anyone who thinks I should be ashamed of myself or saving every penny I come across can

Go to hell.

I practice self care by refusing to accept the toxic shame of others.

I practice self care by secretly finding some time to be happy/alone every day no matter what.